Kent,

I am so happy to see familiar faces among you friends and teachers from my own time here at Benenden. Being back here today with you and with my own two daughters in the audience has a symbolic quality, which will make me value today as a sort of milestone in my life, and a kind of pilgrimage to the past. My eldest daughter, Farah, was a sixth former here herself only a few years ago. I think she′d agree that she owes a lot to that time. Although she was only here for A′ levels, she feels that teachers and friends had an influence that transcended those two years. This is my younger daughter, Zein′s, first visit to Benenden. Perhaps she too will follow in the tradition!

There are among you, some sixth formers, who having finished with A′ levels, will now be moving on. I think that in many ways, speeches like this are particularly difficult, because for some they mark an event which symbolises the end of an important chapter, and the start of a new one. One feels that one ought to confer words of wisdom, or some great illuminating truth. When I was asked to speak to you today, I was of course greatly honoured and touched, but, I also felt conscious that this was different to many of the other speeches I make.

While I may not have the words of wisdom, or illuminating truths to confer, what I can share with you, are some of my personal experiences and conclusions. I think Benenden played a central role in the formation of who I am today. In the sixties, it was somewhat unusual for a young Arab girl to leave her family, and become a boarder at a school far from home. In those days (I know this makes it sound like a century ago) but the world seemed bigger, and our cultures more starkly contrasted. I will always be grateful to my mother, for the opportunities and doorways she opened for me, by sending me to Benenden. The fact that she did, was characteristic of her vision and the insight that she had into life.

While my mother taught me the values of my origins, representing the very essence of my Arab heritage, and all the pride that one can take in one′s roots, she had a clarity of vision, which enabled her to see that while we must always be proud of where we come from, we must not fear change, and the new. It was thanks to her that I came to Benenden, to learn, in a culture different to my own, some of the lessons that I perhaps might not have so much access to otherwise. These were not just academic, but perhaps as importantly, taught me a degree of self-reliance, which would later help me nurture a sense of self and individuality. I think women have always played an important part in my life. When I came to Benenden, I was fortunate to receive guidance and inspiration from women who, although not related to me, became important influences in my life.

Through the years, I have been inspired by many women around me, both in a personal and professional context. I think that Benenden provided me with a good example of the range of ways in which women can teach, learn from, and support each other as friends and mentors. I know the picture of women′s relations with one another is not always a rosy one. I have noticed that for many women, relations with other women are often the most strained and difficult. I think this is exacerbated by the fact that socially, while it is accepted for men to compete and disagree, that same spirit of sportsmanship cannot extend to women′s rivalries and competitions. School taught me something different; that it is possible and healthy, and that disagreements, when they do occur, are natural, and resolvable.

The kind of confidence I acquired from my years at Benenden proved to be invaluable in later years, and in the face of the challenges and obstacles I encountered. One thing of great importance, which I think one learns more through the passage of time, is that things are not quite as neat and tidy as one thinks they will be. The haven of relative security of school might at times seem monotonous and restrictive, but it disappears at a rapid rate.

The transition from order to the chaos of the world outside is both scary and exciting. Shortly after leaving Benenden, came university, marriage and then motherhood. I found that in a very short space of time, my roles had changed and multiplied; from daughter and student, to wife and mother.

These multiple roles are worth talking about now. Most of you leavers will experience them in some capacity or another in the course of your lives. When I was at school here in the sixties, the women′s lib movement was pushing for the rights of women, in ways that might seem both radical and somewhat naive to some today. The word "feminist" strikes a negative note with many. However, while some of the women′s movement was militant, I believe it owes much to the quieter, diligent and consistent efforts of women who sought and. consolidated change in their homes and offices, who lobbied and advocated in groups, from within the context of their communities and societies, as wives, mothers and sisters.

I think that the women′s movement was in many ways successful, and perhaps it is because it was so successful, many of its causes and goals seem not to be so relevant today. We can now take for granted so many of the most basic rights that were being demanded then. Sadly, though, we do not have to go far to realise that many of those basic issues are still at large in most of the world, in which women, although constituting half the world′s population, earn only one tenth of the world′s income, and one hundredth of the world′s homes. Even in the west, one has only to look a little closer to realise that in fact, many of the issues still exist, but are perhaps a little more subtle.

The point I was making however, before I digress too far, was about women and choices. We live in an age, when it would seem that we have more choices than ever before. Not just as women, but at every level, from the most profound to the most superficial, we are bombarded by an array of choices.

In this day and age, and especially in this part of the world, political and social structures are evolving in ways that are permitting the individual more and more room for personal decisions, from creed, to lifestyle and sexuality. Even consumerism, which has become a feature of modernity, offers so many things to purchase, so many things to choose.

As women, our choices have increased. When I justify Benenden, I soon assumed a number of new roles. Not long after, these expanded further still, as I began my career in the field of development, and the work I am fortunate enough to be involved in to this day. Most recently, I have added the writing of a doctoral thesis to my own list of choices - just to make matters more interesting! Whereas in the past, women were obliged to choose between motherhood and a career, it is more possible to combine commitments now. Increasingly, many women are choosing to marry later, or not marry at all. Some women are opting for single parenthood, or find themselves heading families alone. Some women are choosing not to have children at all. Societies are accepting this more readily.

To many women, the constant juggling of roles, can understandably be a source of fatigue and frustration. In Jordan, the family remains the cornerstone of our society, but more women are trying to combine family life with careers. In my work, we are constantly trying to ease the pressures this imposes on women′s lives, through paid maternity leaves, child care facilities and so on.

Women may feel that their numerous obligations result in their being unable to perfect any one task completely. What I am going to suggest is that while this is true, and as maddening and as hellish as it can be an to have to be wife, homemaker, mother, boss in the space of one day, we are exercising an essential right, that we should guard and cherish. There will always be tasks that we could perform better, no matter how hard we try. This is not to deny the beauty that lies in the wonderful jumble of assorted odds and ends that make up our lives. We no longer have to make the choice of either motherhood or a career, between being part of a family, or being individuals in a professional capacity. The result can be a wonderful mosaic, and a challenging and joyful way to live life to the full.

My daughter Farah once lent me a book called Composing a Life. It addresses the issue of multiple roles, affirming the creative process that goes in to all the juggling we perform in our day to day existence, and in the course of sculpting our life stories. I have at times been frustrated and impatient because of my varied responsibilities, and to be honest, there are times when those around me have suffered as a result! I suppose my daughter lent me that book to make me reassess things! In the book, the author, Mary Bateson writes: "Women, today. trying to compose lives that will honour all their commitments and still express all their potentials with a certain unitary grace, do not have an easy task. It is important, however, to see that, in finding a personal path among the discontinuities and moral ambiguities they face, they are performing a creative synthesis with a value that goes beyond the personal. We feel lonely sometimes because each composition is unique, but gradually we are becoming aware of the balances and harmonies that must inform all such compositions. Individual improvisations can sometimes be shared as models of possibility for men and women in the future."

As daunting as it may seem, for many women, these are promising times. Importantly, many of you will be lucky to have the support of caring and understanding partners, fathers, brothers, husbands, colleagues and friends, who espouse similar views and values, and accept the many roles and ambitions of the women around them. What we have the opportunity to create today, is the type of society in which each member can live out their many potentials, in a multiple array of roles. Partnership, and understanding are vital for this. The new types of relations between the sexes, based on a deeper understanding, support, appreciation, and acceptance hold the blueprint for a more harmonious and dynamic society as a whole.

Development in Jordan:
While much of my work in Jordan centres around the needs of women, I know that our main goals lie in the advancement of society in general. One might address one part of the jigsaw, but that is only so that the whole picture might become complete. The premise for our work towards the advancement of women in Jordan lies in the belief that each member of society has a role to play, and should be given the opportunity to participate fully in the development of their country, through a spectrum of involvements that include political, economic and social activity.

In the course of the past decades, the field of social development has moved through various stages, characterised by different approaches towards clients and communities. In the seventies, development initiatives in Jordan were largely of a welfare nature, and comprised of providing people with their basic needs. In the eighties however, the field of development was beginning to witness a growing awareness; that in the interest of sustainability, communities must be empowered to participate in creating their own livelihoods, and answering their own needs. Increasingly, our work in Jordan focused on attempting to decentralise decision making, and to give communities more say in how projects were run, in order for them to become autonomous, and not dependent on outside support and supervision.

While full participation and involvement of local communities was deemed to be a key ingredient in successful and sustainable development, it became apparent very quickly that women had to be a central part of this. In order for women to become involved in this manner, a certain amount of preparation and support is required.

Many of the communities we work with in Jordan are traditional, and have certain views and attitudes about the status of women. This is not to say that after awareness has been raised, and intentions explained, that they will not accept women assuming a more active membership in the community. Trust is a vital element of the relationship we have to build with people, and in this sense, we draw strength from our common culture, and religion.

Islam is often portrayed to be opposed to the emancipation of women. In truth however, the original message of our religion was one that called for equality among the sexes, and in fact freed women from many of the injustices of a pre-Islamic Arabia. Islam gave women the right to inherit, to take charge of their own wealth and property, and to practice commerce. The history of early Islam is full of prominent women, who played important and visible roles as traders, poets, patrons of the art, medics, and even warriors. If the status of women has been diminished in many Islamic societies, it is due to a number of social and cultural factors, and does not lie in the heart of our religion.

This is important, because it means that when changing attitudes, we may draw strength and credibility from the edicts of our faith. In terms of the advancement of women, we are not seeking to replicate the west. Both in terms of development in general, and the advancement of women in particular, I would like to point out that we are trying to create our own models of society, which are rooted in our own traditions and values. Our social fabric owes so much to these basic values, that we should try hard to keep them in the centre of all our efforts. Respect for elders, generosity, and social cohesion, as well as strong family ties, are all features of our society, which have done much to see us through difficult times. We should support the evolution and growth of individuals, each with their own strengths, but at the same time preserve the strength of collective identity and cohesion.

In an increasingly global world, certain notions have evolved regarding what it means to be an "advanced" society. I would like to emphasise that in these times of mass information, we cannot be too critical and discerning as to the what these notions actually carry. Market economies. liberalisation, the growth of the private sector, and the promotion of universal human rights, are often shown to be the way to flourishing democracies. In fact, on closer inspection, one finds that the west′s attempt to impose these on third world societies often reflects a myriad of implicit political and economic goals, which do not stem from a concern with the well-being of the developing world. The reforms and adjustments imposed upon the developing world are often oppressive and draining, hurting the very people they claim to help.

While speaking about choices in the modern day, and increasing opportunities, it is important to note that these opportunities are not available to all, both at a personal and global level. At the global level, some of the rapid rate of change that is shaping our world is having negative repercussions on many developing countries. The discrepancies that exist between the industrialised and third world are often exacerbated by the speed of change in our world; as for many developing countries, the effort of keeping up with the demands of global markets is too much to bear.

The fruits of globalisation are not shared by all, and indeed the global forces affecting our world are not all positive. The environmental degradation of much of the planet is just one of the problems we face, as well as mass migration, and population surges. These phenomena pose their own threats to our existence, and take on global proportions, as they cannot be contained within the perimeters of any nation state. With the onslaught of globalisation, we are experiencing a globalisation of our problems. Our most serious issues exist at a global level.

To that extent, we are in some ways, living what comes close to a collective reality. We can even begin to think in terms of a collective consciousness. Mass media, and information technology have led to a new communality of discourse among cultures. This is particularly clear among younger generations, who live the information age in a way that many of us have not. Young people everywhere are more similar than they ever were. This is not a positive thing in many ways, but we cannot alter the fact that TV. and information technology will be a hugely influential factor in the lives of our children. The good news is of course that this may be made a proponent of positive change in the lives of the young, raising awareness, consciousness and understanding, so that the emerging global culture of the young is not one that is based on consumerism and commercialism.

It is because our problems have taken on such global dimensions, that the implications for not responding to the problems are far greater. If the environment is not addressed, we implicate our survival on the planet. Equally, mass migration will place tremendous strains on our resources and cities. If living conditions are not improved for those in the developing world, if poverty is not alleviated and political unrest and upheavals calmed, then there will be implications for the most comfortable of industrialised countries. It is therefore everyone′s business.

My own region is one that has suffered from the upheavals of rapid change, and has been the victim of the clashing agendas of competing powers. This century has been one of turmoil and disruption in the Middle East. Against this backdrop of unease and uncertainty, it has been almost impossible at times to promote stability and continuity, let alone to foster the new relationships and understandings for peace. As is the case in much of the world, it has been women and children who have paid the price for the discord in which we live. It is women and children who constitute the poorest segments of our society, and are often most lacking in the most basic needs. The right to exercise the kind of choices I mentioned earlier is not enjoyed by many in the region. Their most basic of needs are not met, let alone the opportunity to exercise choice and individual freedom.

Development in Jordan, and many of her neighbours, has been slowed down and stalled by the changing policies of foreign powers, by the effects of political and economic upheavals, and the often-capricious series of events in the area. It is both frustrating and demoralising at times to see the steady work of years upturned or set off track by events around us. It should therefore be clear to see how for many, it is difficult to practise understanding and tolerance, when all one has experienced in one′s life is a combination of harsh conditions and uncertainty, at the whim of political and economic insecurity.

I believe that many in the west take for granted the luxury that they have, of the relative stability and continuity in which they exist. Processes may be initiated and completed; there are not the same disruptive elements to topple plans overnight. Of course there is usually a silver lining to every cloud. In the Middle East, I would suggest that the ever-shifting events give space for a tremendous amount of innovation. In these circumstances, we have the opportunity to mould dramatically new realties, because in contrast to the West so little is planned and settled. Having said that, the positive potential can only be unleashed if people in the region are able to practice their most basic human rights; to be free of poverty, and to live with dignity, with all their basic needs met.

The Middle East, and my country Jordan, in particular, stands poised on the threshold of tremendous change. Yet again, it is time for visions and dreams in the land of the Bible. The potential is vast, but to forge such new realties requires trust and understanding. Without such a sense of goodwill among all, the visions will be replaced by nightmares and apocalyptic tragedy. The wounds and ill feeling of the past will not disappear overnight, but they may fade when we begin to talk in shared terms, as equals, who have an equal share in a common future. Peace in the Middle East can only become tangible if it touches the lives of everyone, and if everyone is allowed to partake in its fruits.

It may seem to you that I have jumped from one topic to the next quite randomly - I shall now try to assure you that there is in fact method in the madness! I believe that there is an analogy to be drawn between the situation of many women today, the predicaments of a global society, and those of my region in the Middle East. In all cases, we see the opening up of windows of opportunity that never existed in the past, of visions, of creativity, of a new sense of identity, and new notions of self. It is the same spirit of reform and transformation, which is required in all. As women today, many of us seek to benefit from the chances we now have to compose lives out of multiple vocations and interests. It is a time when we can benefit from the strengths we gleaned through years of hardship. The history of the predicament of women has, I believe, led to the evolution of a reservoir of skills and strengths, in some ways unique to our sex. Whether these are natural or the result of centuries of conditioning is debatable, and beside the point.

Women today have so much to offer society at all levels. We are already witnessing a gradual appreciation of their skills. It is as if the qualities of nurturing, compromising, soothing, organising, mediating, and managing that women have practised within the confines of the home are now being put to use in the political arena, in the corporate world, and at levels that touch the whole of society. The socio- political structures that have been largely male dominated seek to benefit from the new approaches that women bring. In my own country, it is clear that women can bring a new kind of pragmatism to the political process, particularly as counsellors, mayors, ministers, judges, and MPs, because they are so much in touch with the needs of their communities and families. I believe that women will be key agents of change in the political climate, and the evolution of new social paradigms in many of our countries.

Many people shrink away from "new age talk " such as that of feminine and masculine energy. I shall ask you to indulge me while I take the plunge, and put to you the idea that at the present time, the feminine energy that has been so long suppressed, or at least eclipsed from view, needs to come to the forefront. The Tao symbol of Yin and Yang is representative of the kind of harmony we need in the world, where masculine and feminine energies are balanced to create the whole. The female energy is related to creativity, sensitivity, receptivity, healing, nurturing. These are all needed in our world, and returning once more to the Middle East, we can relate these qualities completely to the process that we must embark upon.

Generally, the issues we all face are complex; they intertwine and mirror one another. In many ways it becomes difficult to separate the personal from the global. In much eastern spirituality, there is the belief that by healing the self, one heals the world. I believe that this is not merely a metaphysical dialectic, but a tangible one.

Put simply, it is a matter of unleashing blocked energy. The world around us is like a jigsaw puzzle, with large gaps to be filled. As women, we have an invaluable role in filling these gaps, in innovative and creative ways that can shape the ways in which societies exist. Throughout my life, I have felt reluctant to call myself a feminist. This has been the cause of much dispute with my eldest daughter for one! I think this reluctance stems from the fact that I have always tried to think in terms that transcend gender, and relate to our shared humanity, regardless of sex. The goal therefore is to uphold and promote that shared humanity. Women can be agents of change in the endeavour, and have certain qualities, which make them essential in this. The work cannot be done in isolation, and must be rooted in partnerships. In some ways, it is not so much a matter of what we do, but how we do it, that counts in improving life on the planet, and the lives we lead as individuals. The metaphors we derive from our own personal challenges and experiences are ones that should be extended to broader social and even global relations.

I should like to quote Bateson once more, when she write: "Fundamental problem of our society and species today is to discover a way to flourish that will not be at the expense of some other community or of the biosphere, to replace competition with creative interdependence. At present, we are steadily depleting the planet of resources and biological diversity; the developed world thrives on the poverty of the south. We are in need of an understanding of global relations that will not only be sustainable but also enriching; it must come to us as a positive challenge, a vision worth fulfilling... Projecting a new vision is artistic; it′s a task each of us pursues in composing our lives." Is it not possible to see here how the individual predicaments, and the means to resolve them, mirror the broad issues facing our world, and the means by which we can transform it?

In conclusion, I dare-say to many of you, my references to the juggling of roles might be something you are all too familiar with. To those of you just leaving, you have that to look forward to. In your case, I can only say enjoy it; the twists and turns that come your way can be an enriching element. I have been fortunate in many ways throughout the years. The people, events, even the trials and hardships, have all made their mark upon the landscape of my life, giving it meaning, depth and clarity. One of the things that I feel particularly fortunate about, is that I have been allowed to draw strength from my origins, while learning from the experiences of the world around me. I have tried to give my own two daughters this opportunity. I think it is one that we all have within our grasp.

The world is shrinking, they say. Increasing travel, information technology, and the cosmopolitan nature of so many of our cities give us access to so much new knowledge, and so much older wisdom. In essence, much of what we need to build the future is already around us. So it is that we must ever strive to listen, observe, understand, to be inquisitive, attentive, perceptive and always ready to be inspired. Sometimes inspiration comes from the most unexpected sources. This applies to us as individuals, but equally, to our global selves, as nations, and regions.

There are lessons to be learnt from the experiences of the industrialised nations, just as there are truths to be appreciated from the developing world. After all, we use the term "developing" to apply to some of the oldest regions of the world, and the earliest cradles of its civilisation. Our consciousness as people, and as nation states can only be enriched by such a tremendous wealth of knowledge and experience. We have only to listen. As women, we are in many ways, well equipped for this expansive consciousness, and in that way, we are blessed. To that extent, our skills are ones that should be shared, so that they may shape the sensibilities of our collective, human self.

And so it is, that we may continue to construct our existence, as individuals, countries, and a planet. We are, and always have been, as individuals, countries and a planet, in the process of composing a life. Our history is in effect the process of that collective composition. As individuals, we must enjoy it as best we can. I shall end, as is appropriate on an occasion such as this with an almost clichéd reference to journeys (you will note however that I made no allusions to this rather obvious analogy thus far), as I end, the words of the Spanish Poet, Antonio Machado, are aimed at those of you who are still in the earlier stages of your journeys, but also to you slightly more well travelled voyagers:

"Traveller, there is no road. The road is made as one walks."